Are you a “deplorable,” one of those dreadful Donald Trump supporters who so offend Hillary Clinton’s delicate sensibilities?
As far as she’s concerned, the deplorables are expendable, in order to make room for her “basket” of voters, the despicable and the deportable.
If Hillary hadn’t had that problem with seasonal allergies or overheating or chronic dehydration or pneumonia or whatever they’re calling it now, her “deplorables” slur would be getting a lot more play.
Didn’t Barack Obama say a few months back that a candidate couldn’t insult his way to the presidency? I guess he was referring to Donald Trump. Hillary Clinton, apparently, can.
In case you’ve been wondering which side you’re on, you may be a deplorable if you stand for the National Anthem.
Or if you know all the words to the Pledge of Allegiance, especially, “under God.”
Or if when you go to Market Basket, you tend to buy generic products, because you’re using your own money, not an EBT card.
You may be a deplorable if you just got your car inspected.
If you’re deployable, you’re definitely deplorable.
If you wake before noon, if you call Islamic terrorists Islamic terrorists, if you don’t have an Obamaphone and you don’t believe that global warming is “settled science” — can you say deplorable?
You may be deplorable if your passport, driver’s license and credit cards are all in the same name.
Saying Merry Christmas — Deplorable with a capital D!
You may be a deplorable if you wouldn’t mind showing some ID at the local precinct before you vote.
You are most assuredly a deplorable if you have more than one job.
You may be a deplorable if you’ve never used Western Union to wire welfare cash south of the border.
You may be a deplorable if all of your children have the same last name — and it’s your last name.
Or if while watching the second Monday night NFL game you were less irritated by the streaker than you were by all the fawning coverage of Colin Kaepernick on the pre-game show.
You may be a deplorable if you resent training your H1-B replacement.
Or the fact that the Earned Income Tax Credit is NOT earned.
Nothing says deplorable like the National Rifle Association.
If you liked your doctor and wanted to keep your doctor, if you wear pants rather than pajamas when you leave the house, if you were passed over for the job even though you got a 95 on the civil-service test — you know what you are.
You may be a deplorable if you don’t think you should have to press one for English.
If you lost your security clearance and your job for mishandling classified information, you are deplorable.
You may be a deplorable if you identify as a member of the gender in which you were born.
Or if you drained your 401(k) or took out a second mortgage on your house to pay for your kid’s tuition at UMass while the illegal alien down the hall goes on the arm.
Or if you believe that good fences make good neighbors.
You’re most definitely a deplorable if you have an American flag flying in your front yard.
Or if you’ve never windsurfed with John Kerry on Nantucket, or stood in line with Sen. Warren at your local “cheese shop.”
You are a deplorable if you believe All Lives Matter.
If you’ve never needed a “safe space,” or heeded a “trigger warning” — deplorable.
If you’ve gone to the howiecarrshow.com store and ordered a “Proud to be Deplorable” T-shirt — yes, you know very well what you are.
Listen to Howie 3-7 weekdays on WRKO AM 680.